Hello readers let me just start you off with this poem which pretty much sums me up.
Me is the person my conscious and sub conscious chooses to be on a day to day basis.
I am an entity of creative awareness.
A being of colour, words, movement and stillness.
A combined mixture of overlapping emotion.
Complicated in my own right and simple in my basic thought
Confident and insecure, happy and sad.
In my state of mind, can evoke a song or dance which ever vibe chooses to be.
Me is the person I will never try to figure out
Cause I have accepted the person and persons of who I am meant to be.
What is me?
A creative being
Whirlwind of me remembering to
Draw a beath
Once upon a year 2008 to be frank shortly after becoming a mother and continuing the downward spiral in the wake of the recessions and other things, I started my handmade business called Nithria. www.nithria.co.uk. It is a business that I still continue today. It has not been an easy journey and it is still very hard. Keeping momentum is indeed a challenge in itself. News of loss of jobs and hiked prices made all the more harder to stay focused. It is now 2013 and I'm still struggling to keep up with myself. Unfinished website (due to my indecisiveness) projects listed but not started, goals and targets listed looked at and sometimes not even started. I have always had a passion for the creative and can not fathom doing anything else but.
In 2011 I vowed to get back on my other creative path, my writing and art and film. My passion for the creative is very much in demand and the ever demanding images I have in my head is waiting to be poured out into these mediums.
It was not until 2012 I slowly started to get back onto my career path with small writings here and there, but nothing ever completed. I became very frustrated with myself and suffered what a lot of people tend to suffer the inability to stay focused. I had moments and flashes of it, but nothing long enough to start or complete anything. At this point I was still working on my website and things had slowed down quite a bit. I use to wake up with images of outstanding pieces of jewellery but they never materialised. I also had intend to add more hand made lines and they also have not materialised. I use to make announcements to the public to force me to do what I needed to do, as I do not like people to think me incapable or someone who has a lot of chat and action. Unfortunately that has also failed. In my head I can see it all laid out perfectly and yet I can not seem to get there.
I have spent a lot of time trying to find out the answers and practice the exercises but there is a huge blockage that needs to be unblocked. I know part of it is playing catch up on the past 15 years of my life which does not help at all but yet I can not seem to help it.
My deep passion and love of the creative is too much to just give up and so I continue.
In November 2011 I joined a choir, previously I was doing art, street dance and singing courses. (I like to keep busy) I found out about this choir through a lady on my singing course. Since I've joined I have never looked back. It has been one of the best decisions that I have made. Surrounded by all sorts of people who are all at different stages of their lives, I have made some fantastic friends.
Slowly without realising Análaigh was born
Análaigh means 'breathe' in Gaelic Irish. This word is important to me as many a time I forget to do just that. My mind will race at 100 miles per hour without a break day in day out week after week. Coming down on the things I haven't done and should've done present and past a burden that one day I hope to learn to shift.
Now bringing you current. The past 10 months have seen many a downs a few ups but has been a blast mainly to my new found love, my choir. I have started writing and I have even made a short film that I have even entered into the virgin short comp. I was so determined and unlike my previous failed targets I did it. The film 'The decision'
It has been very tough going and still is. Beating myself up everyday does not help and is extremely counter productive.
It is the school holidays so it is juggling time, keeping the child entertained as well as keeping my own head on straight.
This is my intro to me. A journey into my creative life if you find me interesting follow me here. There will be lots to tell. Checkout my Art Challenges on my fb page.
Thanks for reading.